Photo by Stella Stenroos, Flickr
Cool and vampish, right? Long toenails, not so much. Apparently.
Truth is scary. No, it is. I was in the bedroom, under Sweet Baby James’ poster, sitting crosslegged with my BFF. (Back then, we called them “best friends.” I’m being “current” here, amiright?) Anyway, something weighed on her mind.
BFF’s big reveal turned out to be that “everyone” was talking about my long nails. I’m thinking in a good way, right? Because my nails were long. The longest. And surely the envy in my highschool universe. Take that, nailbiters. I win! But, no. The buzz from “everyone” was sadly about my TOE nails! She used words like “disgusting” and spoke for
the masses who were confused as to why I let them get that way. In a cartoon, you would have heard the air sucked out of my ego balloon. I wished James wasn’t witnessing this.
My friend’s truth didn’t set me free. Indeed. Yes, it led me to be a more diligent toenail trimmer, so I guess that was good. But, not so good, it also reinforced my mistrust in all things female. And, because highschool and its inhabitants were the sole force of the universe (it truly felt that way at the time), a future therapist might bring me to realize this was also the beginning of my withdrawal from society itself. (However, I’ll never know because I understand therapy is all about “truth” and we saw how that story ended.)
Today, I’m a mature, Christian woman. (Come on, haters. Keep reading.) Do you know the scariest line in the Christian community? It’s this: “I need to tell you something in love.” If you hear that tagline coming from a church lady, just denounce your membership and run. You can bet you did something worse than not clipping toenails.
We are probably talking the need for someone to see tears and signs of repentence. We’re talking hushed toned conversations about hurt feelings or the need to dig to the depth of one’s soul to discover the “real” issue behind an offense. All of these are my absolute favorite things. To avoid.
Honestly, like my highschool BFF (It wasn’t forever, by the way) I think there is often sincerity motivating these truths tellers. But other times, not so much. So, what should Christians do when they see someone they care about going down a path of destruction? I say, read your Bible, it’s in there.
But, what about those times your friend’s not really destruction bound but y ou are being moved to be just a bit judgy? You’ve come to the right place:
- Confront (in love). Even if they get a little miffed, no big deal. (See how hearing truth didn’t affect me?) The truth will set YOU free. Good enough. You did what you needed to do. You’re free again to focus on your life.
- Sneak them an informative pamplet, not unlike the one slipped under my bedroom door in 1975; “What to Know About the Marriage Bed.”
You may also want to include a loving note. (“Let me know if you have any questions, honey. Love, Mom” or like a similar one with the post-it from last week, “Hey, how ’bout a little page 69 tonight?”) Someone at that publishing company had a sense of humor.
- Live by example. Use Facebook to showcase your superiority. (See example below) Be sure to tag the person who needs your truth. If questioned about the tag, perhaps you’d be more comfortable claiming there was a tech error. Truth isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
Photo by Kelly Maruarat, Flickr
Just another family night at the Fritz’s! Rousing games followed by weekly toenail trimming! lol Such a good time! tagged: jentodd
Disclaimer: No actual situations were used in this post. Truth. Or, is it?