“I hate days when I have to go places and do stuff.”
I’m not what you’d call mentally ill, but let’s face it, there are days when I’m not exactly mentally healthy either. Usually days when I have to “go places and do stuff.”
Because I have an actual magnet on my frig with that quote, I know I’m not the only one. (Magnets, Inc. probably didn’t make it just for me.)
Luckily, my life can often be contained within my cozy home. Blue Apron can deliver meals. I can order other essentials at Box.com and have them dropped off on my porch within two days. So, my self-diagnosed social anxiety (not social disease as one unnamed relative refers to it. Ick.) often goes unseen. But yesterday was not that day. Errands. Sigh.
First, I made the effort to look “outside ready” by switching the slipper boots and sweats to boots with heels and skinny jeans (but who are we kidding? They should be called stretchy jeans and they’ve about hit their limit). Then, I spent enough time with hair and makeup that I could look at myself and say, “good enough.”
First, the drive-through bank. (baby steps) Accidentally sent my grocery list to the teller. Thought maybe I should just go home, but no, knowing that “Someone” decided he’s tired of eating Christmas leftovers, I was forced to cross the parking lot to the grocery store. Five quick items. Should be painless. With my awkwardly returned list in my hand, I perused the aisles, trying to find where the heck they hide their bread.
Guy on ladder: Hey, is it cold enough for you?
Me: (Smiling, but mildly annoyed) Um…then I babbled because that is what I do when I would rather not be talking. Go figure.
Guy: Where’d you go to school?
Me: (Realizing now he had that look of a slow learner.) (Apology in advance if I just insulted an entire group of people. What is the PC term? Am I now getting Social Media Anxiety, too?) I tell him the school and when I graduated. I tell him what my name was 40 years ago.)
Guy: I know who you are. (He seemed pleased, not like he hated me for never knowing who he was or for *being an idiot)
I left feeling a little sorry that I had never connected with him in highschool. And a little pleased with myself for the human connection I just experienced.
So, when the cashier with the dead eyes refused to look at me, I told her I liked her earrings. (I did.) And, she smiled.
So, lesson learned: Maybe I need to work on going out and doing stuff more because my life is not just about me. It’s about me and where I fit into the world. And, my guess is that making people happy is a little more important than looking as if I don’t make social blunders.
And, my hope is that you, as a reader, may have smiled just a bit, too. No lol needed, but if you related to social blunders, I’d love you to share your worst on my comments. (I bet I have you beat, but that’s for another blog.)
*Seriously? I meant me, not HIM. I can say that, right, because it’s about myself? Stop judging me, people! Social Media Anxiety is for real!